


Heathens

by BSnows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aden is Lexa's little brother, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Becca and Alie are evil twins, Clarke smokes a lot, Clexa Love Week, F/F, Fine Stud Lexa, Lexa is a skilled killer, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Murder, Raven is an angel, Road Trips, Roommates, Sexual Content, They both are in trouble and secretly have feelings for each other, clexa au, lots of fluff eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7891801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSnows/pseuds/BSnows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You're not the one my boss contacted to do this," she ironically says as soon as she sees Clarke, her eyes scanning the other girl's body.</i>
</p><p>  <i>Clarke doesn't back down as Lexa thought she would.</i></p><p>  <i>"And yet you're the one your boss asked me to help," Clarke says as she sits on the table with Lexa on that old creepy bar downtown. She puts her elbows on the table, looking at Lexa that has curious green eyes all over her. She clicks her tongue and a playful smile curls her pretty lips. "Interesting, isn't it?" </i></p><p>or</p><p>Clexa AU where Lexa and Clarke are criminals in danger and they need to run away and Lexa is secretly in love with her partner in crime, who also happens to be her best friend/roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Moodboard for the first chapter:** loupagneau.tumblr.com/image/149624956547

It's not unusual to Lexa to feel this way.  
  
Honestly, she has been feeling it since she saw Clarke for the first time.  
  
When Raven, her boss' spokesperson, said that there was going to be another person involved in the scheme, she wasn't happy at first. Of course she wasn't happy, ever since her anonymous boss contacted Lexa to do some dirty jobs for her, Lexa was the only one she kept in touch ever since.  
  
Lexa is the best. She really is skilled at what she does: killing bad people for money with her two pistols in hands.  
  
And the best thing is that she didn't need to share the bounty with anyone else. She only needed to take care of herself and, for Lexa, that's the best gift that independence can give to people.  
  
Except, now there's Clarke.  
  
She came to the anonymous meeting at midnight that night wearing a dark blue dress, an updo and red lipstick on her lips. Lexa judged the hell of her at first sight. It looked that she was trying to be a gangster from the fifties. No way that _that_ little princess doll would be tough enough for the job.  
  
"You're _not_ the one my boss contacted to do this," she ironically said as soon as she saw Clarke, her eyes scanning the other girl's body.  
  
Clarke didn't back down as Lexa thought so.  
  
"And yet you're the one your boss asked _me_ to help," Clarke said as she sat on the table with Lexa on that old creepy bar downtown. She put her elbows on the table, looking at Lexa that had curious green eyes all over her. She clicked her tongue and a playful smile curled her pretty lips. "Interesting, isn't it?"  
  
And then it all started.  
  
It's been three years now and they still treat each other the same way they started their friendship at the first place. Only now they became best friends and partners in crime as they started their adult life together. Jokes and insults aside, they really maintained a good team spirit whilst genuinely taking care of each other. Of course, Lexa would always play the darkest parts of each job, but with Clarke's strategies, it never felt like a big risk to take.  
  
Clarke's a crime genius with a heart made of gold, rainbows, and cute shit. That's only one of the reasons why Lexa has secretly fallen in love with her. They made out in the past, sure, but they both were super drunk. Clarke more than Lexa. Clarke probably doesn't even remember it and they never talked about it either.  
  
Lexa has fallen in love with a straight girl that happens to be her best friend.  
  
Isn't that just _great_.  
  
Lexa's been trying to suppress any feelings that insist to blossom in her heart, but it's really difficult when you share a super small apartment with your super hot and cute best friend and then you work with her every single fucking day doing what you both like to do the most: making things right in the worst way possible.  
  
Lexa started dating other women to get over Clarke. There were so many of them. Costia, Octavia, Anya, Indra. Yet Clarke never bothered to care, she always teased that Lexa was finally settling down and she would finally leave her ass alone. It hurt. And honestly, Lexa isn't used to being hurt over rejection, so she finally decided to move on. And actually, she has been doing a great job.  
  
Except for when she sees Clarke like that.  
  
Lexa gets really turned on when Clarke plays the bad girl.  
  
"Lexa!" Clarke yells, making Lexa come back to the reality again. "The lighter! _Now!_ "  
  
Lexa looks at the lighter in her hands and turns her head to see her best friend still pointing a gun towards what once was a man running in her direction. Lexa takes a brief look around Clarke and there're at least ten bodies on the floor. Clarke never really gets to kill, but when she does, it's a fucking tragedy.

And still, there's a smirk curling Clarke's lips, almost in a malicious way.

Almost like if she was feeling pleasure.

In all those years of crime and murder, there've been only a few times that Lexa got to see that side of Clarke.

Lexa really, really loves it.

" _Lexa!_ " Clarke yells again, taking the life of another criminal away. "Now!"

Lexa holds the lighter ever tighter in her hands. She throws a look at Clarke as if she was waiting for some kind of further approval, and when the blonde nods once, she does what she needs to do.  
  
She throws the lighter towards the designated place and runs towards Clarke's direction, taking her hand so they could jump through the window together.  
  
As they still fly on the air, the whole place explodes behind them.  
  
"Fuck!" Lexa cries in pain once they're both laying on the cold and wet floor. Clarke immediately looks at Lexa to check if she's ok and her face expresses nothing but pain over her arm.  
  
"Are you ok?" Clarke frowns, struggling to get up quickly to reach a hand to Lexa. Clarke knows that Lexa is in pain, but they can deal with it after they go to a safer place. "Come on, we need to run."  
  
"I'm fine," Lexa lies. She takes Clarke's hand with her good arm and unexpectedly receives a hug so tight that Lexa can feel that Clarke's heart is beating fast. When Clarke pulls away, she tenderly kisses Lexa's cheek before taking her hand to run with her.

All this sweetness is getting Lexa killed one day.  
  
\---  
  
"Stop obsessing," Lexa huffs. She's been through a very risky moment minutes ago and she can't handle Clarke being overly worried. "If you stay on the window people will be able to see you and then they'll know where we live and then we die."  
  
Clarke gets away from the window and sighs. She puts out her cigarette in the ashtray upon the windowsill and sits back on the old green couch where Lexa is laying in an almost fetal position. "Are you sure they didn't see us getting in the car?"  
  
"Yes," Lexa mumbles, adjusting her injured arm in her chest that was previously bandaged by Clarke.  
  
Clarke frowns as she puts a hand on Lexa's leg. The feeling of the warmth of her hand on Lexa's bare leg makes her skin ache with the touch. Lexa apprehensively settles on the couch, wishing that one day she can get over the way her body reacts to Clarke's touch. "How's your arm?"  
  
"It hurts," Lexa closes her eyes tight and swallows. "But I'm fine."  
  
Clarke gives a small smile.   
  
Clarke usually is the one beaten up on the couch and Lexa is the one that's there promptly taking care of her, even though she's pretty hurt herself. Lexa is amazing. She's tough, she's cold-hearted, but when it comes to Clarke, she can be disgusting of how much sweet she can be. And Clarke thinks that's the most adorable thing in the world.  
  
But before Clarke could open her mouth to say anything that would explode Lexa's ego all over the place, Clarke feels her phone buzzing in her pocket.

 **[11pm] R:**  
**Party night, you deserve it.**  
  
**[11pm] R:**  
**Ground House bar, 15 minutes**  
**from now. See you, girls!**  
  
"Who is it?" Lexa asks, her eyes still closed.  
  
"Raven," Clarke says. "She wants to go to the Ground House."  
  
"Oh," Lexa swallows. She opens her eyes to look at Clarke, who is sitting next to her feet with furrowed brows, as usual. She notices that Clarke's overthinking about it. Honestly, it would be selfish of her to ask Clarke to stay home with her when it's Clarke's birthday. "You can go, Clarke. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."  
  
Lexa closes her eyes again as if the conversation was already over because _of course,_  Clarke wouldn't miss an opportunity to get wasted with Raven and their team in her birthday and-  
  
"Yeah, right," Clarke chuckles. "I'll tell her that we can go tomorrow."  
  
Clarke gets up and takes the folded blanket on the arm of the couch to pull it over Lexa's body and kisses her forehead. Lexa doesn't open her eyes, but she has a shy lopsided smile on her lips.  
  
"Stop loving me so much," Lexa says. "It's disgusting, Clarke."

"I know, right?" Clarke smiles as she takes her phone to reply to Raven. "I'll ask for a pizza instead, too bad that you will be sleeping when it arrives."   
  
"Don't," Lexa struggles to say. "There's cake in the fridge, I forgot to tell you."   
  
"The Alexandria Woods baked me a cake?"  
  
Lexa doesn't answer and she's clearly oblivious from Clarke's heart eyes and look of admiration despite the irony in her question.  
  
"Birthday girl deserves a treat," Lexa manages to break the silence. "And I'm sorry you won't get drunk tonight."  
  
"Well," Clarke walks to the window to light another cigarette before she could dine her birthday cake. "We can celebrate it tomorrow," Clarke says, then she lowers her voice, almost like if she was talking to herself. "Plus it isn't that funny when you're not around to act like a jealous dick when I'm making out with someone anyways."  
  
Lexa feels sleepy as fuck due to the medicine that Clarke gave her for the pain, but that really caught her attention. She isn't able to come up with a response to that. Or any response at all. She feels her body being taken over by an abnormal tiredness and she gives in to sleep.  
  
She can come up with a response to that tomorrow.  
  
Clarke better be clear on what she meant with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Moodboard for Chapter 2:** loupagneau.tumblr.com/image/149895804797

Although she often dreams about Clarke, it never feels like Lexa's going to wake up in peace.  
  
_"LEXA! HELP!"_

And it takes a millisecond to Lexa open her eyes. She promptly sits on the couch, the expression in her face showing nothing but genuine worry over the fact that Clarke might be in danger. She automatically looks around to search for her pistols, but her eyes find Clarke standing across the tiny living room instead. She has a mug of hot tea in one hand and a cigarette in the other while a smile curls her lips.  
  
"Good morning."

Lexa rolls her eyes and puts her hand on her chest, as one does when experiences some minor heart attack. She hates when Clarke manipulates her to wake up by simulating a danger of some sort because it all could easily go wrong. She hates it even more because she falls for it every single time.

"You suck," Lexa gives her a glare so cold, so typical of Lexa that it makes Clarke smile even bigger. "You fucking suck."

"Of course I do," Clarke chuckles as she approaches the couch. She hands Lexa the mug of tea and sits beside her on the couch after that, taking a drag of her own cigarette and ignoring the fact that Lexa is clenching her jaw and still looking very angry at her. "However, you do know how hard it is for you to wake up when you take meds," Clarke explains. "How's your arm?"  
  
"Better," Lexa mumbles as she holds the warm light blue mug of tea tighter between her hands, barely feeling that awful pain in her arm as she did the night before. "You really shouldn't keep doing these pranks, Clarke. It's very easy to something go wrong. Lack of communication can get us killed and you know it."

Clarke puts her hand on Lexa's knee. "Stop being so serious all the time, it's making you look like a grandmother for real." She smiles before ashing her cigarette on the ashtray on top of the coffee table in front of the couch, and when she looks at Lexa again, the girl has a soft lopsided smile on her lips too.

Lexa takes a sip of her tea. It's lemongrass tea, her favorite. She takes another sip to avoid thinking about the tingling in the spot Clarke had her hand on seconds ago. She really hates how her body reacts to Clarke's touch.

Although Lexa is twenty-five, only two years older than Clarke, it feels like her soul is over one hundred years old. People calls it being an old soul. Clarke loves it about her, even though she mocks Lexa about it all the time.  
  
Lexa simply nods at herself, she knows that Clarke's right. She's been a little bit stressed these past months and it is simply not her. She blows on her hot tea while Clarke silently smokes what seems to be her third cigarette of the day already. Usually, they share silence and it's awkwardly comfortable. But now it isn't. Lexa remembers the night before and she wonders if bringing up the topic would be a good idea.  
  
But honestly, how could she bring up "Hey, so you said you like it when I'm jealous and I'm curious to know if you like me or something" casually? Lexa can barely disguise the blush in her cheeks when she sees Clarke naked or how turned on she gets when she sees her good girl playing the bad girl.  
  
Lexa thinks about the day Clarke taught her how to use eyeliner properly. She wasn't used to wearing any makeup before Clarke. One day, though, Clarke offered to teach her. They had their faces so close to each other, Lexa could feel Clarke's warm breath in her skin and the thoughts in her mind were so loud that it almost didn't feel they were in silence. Lexa had her eyes closed for Clarke to apply the makeup, but when she suddenly opened them she caught Clarke staring at her lips. They locked eyes for a moment until Clarke felt the need to look away.  
  
_Maybe_ Clarke has a crush on her too. It's a possibility. Clarke did kiss other girls in parties. _Maybe_ she's not only curious and she's not straight and it makes Lexa think they both can have a chance. Lexa doesn't even know her best friend's sexual orientation yet, she still feels like if Clarke ever confirms that yes, she's straight, it would hurt the hell out her little gay heart.

Who was Lexa kidding? She didn't get over Clarke. She did a terrible, terrible job on that.  
  
Clarke sighs and it makes Lexa come back to reality. The blonde has her head lowered and it looks like she's pretty upset.

"What happened?"

Clarke takes another drag of her cigarette.

"Clarke," Lexa firmly repeats, she doesn't like that Clarke is actually beginning to act anxious. "What happened?"

"We're really running out of money, Lex." Clarke finally says, exhaling the smoke in the opposite direction of Lexa's face. "I checked our bank accounts this morning. She didn't pay us back."

Lexa takes another sip of her tea. She lets the flavor and the warmth of the liquid slips down her throat. "You know what it means."

Clarke nods as she takes her cigarette between her thumb and her index finger and puts it out on the ashtray. She squeezes the cigarette butt more harshly on the metal piece and looks at Lexa.  
  
"Party time."

\---  
  
_"Hello?"_  
  
"Hey, Rae," Clarke says, holding the cell phone tighter against her ear. "New phone, same me."  
  
_"Clarke!"_ Raven exclaims and Clarke smiles. She really loves the way that Raven keeps her good humor, even when having an atypical life like they have. She loves it even more that they managed to become friends when there are so many restrictions. _"I missed you last night, birthday girl."_  
  
"I know, I'm sorry," she says as she walks to the living room's window to lean against the windowsill. "Lexa and I had a rough night and well, I have birthdays every year anyways."  
  
_"Sure about that_?" Raven chuckles and Clarke does too, hiding the fact that maybe she got a little sad at the comment because she really might never be able to celebrate a birthday again. " _But we can't afford to be in the same city always, we should really hang out sometime_."  
  
"We will," Clarke assures. "I miss you, you know it," she makes a pause. "Look, we need to talk."  
  
_"I can imagine_ ", Clarke hears Raven sighing on the other side of the line. " _I'm leaving to have lunch in an hour. Can we meet at the B.R.?_ "  
  
Clarke struggles a little bit to remember what place she's referring to since they can't really talk about locations on cell phones, but when she does, she smiles.

"It's a deal. Lex's in the shower now, as soon as she gets out we're leaving," she says. "You're paying, though."  
  
Raven chuckles. _"See you guys soon."_  
  
Clarke hangs up and holds the cheap cell phone against her chest. She takes a deep breath before breaking it in two in her hands.  
  
It's going to be a harsh day.  
  
\---  
  
"Shit, go slower," Clarke frowns at Lexa from the passager seat, totally regretting that she let Lexa drive this time. "Raven is not going anywhere."  
  
"Sorry," that's all that Lexa says, her eyes still focusing only on the path ahead.  
  
And silence fills up the car again.  
  
Clarke hates when Lexa is worried. They work with something that endangers their lives every day, but they're so good at what they do that it is not really a threat. Usually, Lexa is pretty chilled and Clarke is the one that worries, maybe because it's Lexa the one who is most probable to get hurt and Clarke's heart aches at the single thought of it. However, Lexa's intuition and calmness are exceptional, which makes her very likely to succeed at any job.  
  
Or they used to make.  
  
That's why when Lexa is actually worried and acting weird, Clarke knows something is deadly wrong.  
  
"Are you ok?" Clarke breaks the silence, even if it's a question they both know the answer to.  
  
Lexa can't manage to think about only one reason why she isn't ok. It's been two months of no payment and lack of money in their case is something that shouldn't happen at all. If they don't get their payment, then either they're in trouble or their boss is in trouble. Either way, they have a huge risk of getting killed. Obviously, they could run away and begin a new life or start robbing for a living in another place, but their contracts and all the bureaucracy says that if they commit major crimes for a living independently and quit working exclusively for their boss before any previous negotiation, their families will pay the price. Which is awful since Lexa has only her younger brother and Clarke has only her mother, and Clarke isn't aware that they're in danger as well. She still thinks they're safe with all the plan she made in the beginning of their path together.

Lexa's trying really hard not to lose her mind.  
  
"I'm fine," Lexa lies. She can't handle Clarke being nervous too.  
  
Clarke rolls her eyes, turning her head to look at the car's window.  
  
" _Lack of communication can get us killed_ , she said," Clarke repeats Lexa's words. "Maybe you should talk more about your feelings."  
  
Something in the way she says it makes Lexa think she's talking about something else.  
  
"Maybe _we_ should."  
  
Clarke looks at Lexa. She opens her mouth to say something, but her phone buzzes at the same time.  
  
**[1pm] from Raven:**  
**Clarke**

**[1pm] from Raven:  
** **Don't come around downtown**  
  
**[1pm] from Raven:**  
**RUN**

"Lexa," Clarke says, her heart beginning to beat faster. "Turn around. Now!"  
  
Lexa doesn't even question Clarke, she just violently turns the steering wheel.  
  
It is happening. She knows it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Moodboard for Chapter 3:** loupagneau.tumblr.com/image/150109732177

"Lexa, _please,_ " Clarke whines once again. "What the fuck is happening?"  
  
But Lexa doesn't say a word. She keeps putting everything she thinks its essential inside a bag on the bed. Clarke watches her and blinks a few times, without really knowing if she should help or if she should keep overanalyzing in her head why is Lexa acting like if she knows better than Clarke.  
  
Clarke hates the feeling of being the only one who's not aware of the situation, it never really happens actually, she's always on top of things. But when it happens, it's the worst feeling. She feels betrayed and it blocks all the sense of survival and teamwork she has that got them alive all these years.  
  
She does remember, though, when Lexa once made her vow a couple of months ago that she would never question her if they were in a life-or-death situation and Lexa gets to take the lead of a plan. Clarke obviously vowed, but she still thinks it's weird she made her vow that. It felt something too specific to just be a conversation between the two of them.  
  
"Is it Raven?" Clarke tries again as she approaches Lexa, who's trying really angrily to close the loaded bag and swearing like if there's no tomorrow. Clarke still doesn't get any response. "Is it the gang we eliminated yesterday then? Why all this drama? Fuck! Tell me!"  
  
"No, Clarke. It's Becca," she patiently says, like if Clarke was a pissy little kid. "Please, trust me. Pack everything you think you'll need. We need to leave as soon as possible."  
  
Clarke opens her mouth to question who Becca is, but Lexa picks up a phone in her pocket and Clarke watches her as she anxiously listens to the person on the other line.  
  
"Yes, yes," Lexa says. "Aden Woods and Abby Griffin. Sixteen and forty-nine," she looks at Clarke, who's still standing there being useless. Lexa widens her eyes at her as if she was telling her to move and help. Clarke _finally_ does so. She does trust Lexa and if it somehow involves her mom, then she's willing to help even without being aware of the plan. Not that Clarke has the best relationship with her mother, but besides Lexa, she is the only family she has after all. "Take them with you there, we'll meet in a few days. Stay subtle and don't get tracked. OK? Yes, yes. Take care too. Bye."  
  
Lexa hangs up the cell phone and breaks it, throwing the broken pieces inside a second bag and closing it. Lexa looks around and she finds Clarke putting an effort to pack all Lexa's stuff from the drawers first rather than hers.

She takes a few steps towards Clarke and surprises her with a hug. Lexa sighs as Clarke lets go of the bag she's holding to hug Lexa too, gently caressing her back with her fingers. Clarke thinks it's weird, Lexa is never the one who initiates hugs or moments like this, but still, she holds Lexa as tight as she needs her to.  
  
After a moment, Clarke presses her lips on the apple of Lexa's cheeks, looking carefully at her after that.  
  
"We are going to a country town," Lexa explains as she pulls away. "We don't have much time to talk right now, but just know that it is safe there. Bellamy is taking your mom and Aden, we'll meet them there and stay a couple of days until we get an update from Raven," she says and Clarke nods. "It's a very long trip until there, though, do you need something? Anything? We can very quickly pass by the gas station down the street."  
  
Clarke really appreciates how Lexa, even in times like this, still manages to worry about her comfort.  
  
"No, I'm good," she shakes her head. "I have everything I need."  
  
Lexa smiles.  
  
"Good," she says. "So let's go."  
  
\---

"I swear to all the Gods, I love you but if you keep acting all mysterious I'm going to take this pistol and shoot your ass," Clarke says after an uncomfortable quiet thirty-minute ride on the road. Clarke looks at Lexa, who's on the passenger seat polishing one of her pistols and not daring to even look at the other girl to respond. Clarke snorts and looks ahead again, clutching tighter on the outworn steering wheel, and only then something in her brain clicks. "Oh my God," she says. "It's her! Her name is Becca, right? And she is coming after us."  
  
"Her name is Becca, yes," Lexa says. "But she isn't coming after us, Alie is."  
  
Clarke's so fucking done.  
  
"First of all," she begins. "How the fuck do you know all these names? Aren't we not allowed to know anything about our boss? Are you seriously hiding something from me, Lex?"  
  
The way Clarke says it makes Lexa think she's mildly hurt, and honestly she is and she has every right to be. They vowed not to hide anything from one another and they both take their vows very seriously, almost like pinky-promises when you're a kid. And Lexa really can't keep these feelings and thoughts inside her chest and not share it with Clarke anymore. She knows the girl is going to freak out when she finds out all the truth, but it is needed.  
  
The day of the truth has arrived.  
  
Lexa takes a deep, deep breath.  
  
"I know who she is, obviously, do you think I would work for someone I don't trust?" she calmly says and Clarke can't help but agree inside her head, Lexa _can_ discover anything in the world if she wants to. "She owns a drug cartel that she founded with her twin sister, Alie. Something happened between them and they're now enemies. Like, real enemies. They got separated and Becca was the one who took over the cartel, she succeeded, and Alie tried to begin her own business. But I think we've been wiping out all Alie's employees for Becca. She got stronger eventually, she's bigger than Becca now."  
  
Clarke's heart begins to beat faster and she feels her mouth getting dry. "Holy sweet fuck."  
  
"I know," Lexa settles in the seat, taking another deep breath before getting her attention back on the piece of cloth soiled with grease and her pistol in her hands. "Do you remember that man we killed two months ago at the shore?"  
  
"Thelonious Jaha," Clarke nods. She remembers the name of practically every single person they ever got to kill.  
  
"Yes," Lexa confirms. "He was Alie's spy, I bet. Raven never got so anxious for us to be on a mission before. It was a trap. I think that he sent our location to Alie before he died because since then, she's been hacking Becca's account and that's why we haven't been receiving our money. Alie knows that Becca is nothing without her employees, and that includes Raven," she sighs, "and you and me. Mostly me."

"Oh my God," Clarke sounds like she's about to cry. She quickly manages to park the car in a little gift shop on the roadside. As soon as she turns offs the car's engine she covers her mouth with her hands. "Oh my God, oh my God," she says, and then looks at Lexa with teary eyes. "Is Raven ok? Is she coming with us? And what about you-, oh my God, Lex!"

"You know Raven, she's going to be fine," Lexa looks at Clarke, ignoring the fact that actually, she's the one who's mainly in danger. She takes one of Clarke's hand and gently holds it. It's a habit she got from Clarke, to demonstrate affection to reassure that everything is going to be fine. "Becca protects her, it's not like if she's completely broken too. Becca supports us somehow. Raven texted me that she was going to send Bellamy to help and I told him to get your mom and Aden to a safe place in the meanwhile, just in case."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me this before, Lexa? I created a million situations in my head but nothing like _this,_ " Clarke snaps at Lexa, pushing away her hand with an eye roll. "And all that silence for what? Your whole drama queen play was annoying as fuck."

Lexa wears her puppy eyes unintentionally and it makes Clarke rolls her eyes again. Lexa lowers her head and just accepts Clarke's anger. "I only had theories in my mind, but after you told me you had checked the bank accounts and they were empty, I started connecting some dots and here we are," she says. "Raven confirmed me with that text on our way back to our apartment earlier." 

Clarke looks away. She's still angry, but she understands Lexa's ways too. She knows that she wouldn't hide something from her unless that would be necessary. In fact, she knows Lexa's just trying to protect her. And it is weird that she actually can't get angry at Lexa for more than two minutes, and it makes her be more angry about herself rather than Lexa's ways.

"Don't worry Clarke," Lexa says. "We're safe, our families are safe. We have some money. We have each other. We just need to get where Bellamy is taking Aden and Abby in the next few days."  
  
All Lexa's calming words were in vain since Clarke's obviously still very mad. She puts her hand on the car keys and starts the car again.  
  
"We better find a place to sleep tonight then," she coldly says.  
  
Lexa fears the cold look in Clarke's eyes more than Alie at this point.

\---

  
After several hours of a car ride, they managed to find the smallest and creepiest motel in the world.  
  
The only room available was equipped with a chamber-pot and a single bed. Not that sharing small places were a problem, they had been in worse situations before. Lexa made it clear that she wanted Clarke to sleep on the bed and she would sleep on the floor, but Clarke didn't let her. They ended up sharing that small bed and facing away from each other.  
  
"Clarke," Lexa whispers. She knows Clarke's not sleeping yet by the way she's breathing. "I'm sorry."  
  
Clarke takes a moment before whispering back. "I'm still angry."  
  
"I know," Lexa says. She bites her bottom lip, she really loves the way Clarke's voice sounds when she whispers. It's husky and sexy, Lexa really loves it, but before her heart could start beating faster with all these feelings in her chest, Clarke turns onto her side and puts her arm around Lexa's waist, gently pressing her body against Lexa's.  
  
"Hm... Clarke?"  
  
"You're just being my little spoon," Clarke feels the need to justify herself. "As always."  
  
"Clarke," Lexa swallows, feeling the anxiousness spread across her whole body. "What are we doing?"  
  
"It's not the first time we sleep like this, chill."  
  
Lexa knows that Clarke's falling asleep but she can't miss this chance.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about."  
  
Clarke knows it. But she's too tired to have this conversation after spending the whole day driving that old car.  
  
She falls asleep cuddling Lexa. A very confused Lexa.  
  
Honestly, it's easier to solve complicated schemes than Clarke's mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke wakes up with a pain in her hand.

Lexa's holding her hand too strong, but that's something she does in her sleep sometimes when she dreams or have nightmares. Clarke feels like the girl's nails are digging deep into her skin, but she doesn't dare to move to wake her up. Clarke thinks it's absolutely annoying how much love she has for Lexa that it makes her forget that she's actually still hurt by her attitudes.  
  
Clarke feels Lexa squeeze her hand again, but this time, it really hurts.  
  
"Lexa," Clarke says. She squeezes the brunette's belly with their hands laced together. "Lexa."  
  
"Shhhh."  
  
"You're dreaming," Clarke snorts, her voice huskier than the usual.  
  
Lexa sighs and after a couple of stubborn seconds, she opens her eyes. Clarke's arm is around her waist and it feels good that she's actually awake now, although it seems like it's very early in the morning.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lexa's voice is the definition of sleepy and she closes her eyes again, giving in to the urge to sleep a little bit more. Aware that she must have been smashing Clarke's hand in her sleep, she caresses Clarke's hand with her thumb for a moment as in a physical way to redeem herself and it makes Clarke frown her brows instead of smiling.  
  
"I'll take a shower," Clarke says. "You better be awake when I come back."  
  
Lexa wouldn't dare to do otherwise.  
  
\---  
  
They pay for the stay, take a cup of tea and leave to take the road again.  
  
It's a six hours drive to their next stop and during the whole ride, Clarke sleeps on the passenger's seat. Lexa enjoys this time alone to appreciate the green fields that color the view. It's amazing how good she feels when she's on the road, it a unique feeling of youth and freedom that she doesn't get to experience so often.  
  
They get to the gas station around noon to fill up the tank and have lunch, and still none of them dare to start the conversation they need to have. All they talk about is financial organization and routes on Lexa's map while paying too much attention to everybody that is around them.

When they get back to the road, Lexa puts on some music on the radio and Clarke lowers the window of her side of the car to feel the breeze as she reads her book. For a moment, it feels like two normal best friends on a road trip. It almost feels like they have normal lives.  
  
Almost.  
  
"Clarke," Lexa says and Clarke takes her eyes off her book for the first time since they left the gas station. "Look."  
  
And it really is breath-taking. Lexa enters a little path that has an entrance that looks like will lead them to a farm, but they are welcomed with a blue lake, pretty flowers and trees. It's a very pretty landscape. Even the sky presents itself with shades of pink and orange, suggesting the day is at its end. It's a good moment to rest and take a while to appreciate the view.  
  
"Do you want to swim in the lake?" Lexa asks with a subtle smirk on her lips as she unbuckles her seat belt, knowing exactly what Clarke's response will sound like.  
  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Clarke says, mirroring Lexa's moves and unbuckling her seatbelt as well. "There must be thousands of germs and bacteria there. Not a chance!"  
   
They walk to the shore of the lake and climb a few rocks that surround the water to stand there admiring the wonders of nature. Clarke takes a deep breath and stretches her arms and legs. Lexa, however, takes the moment to rehearse some words inside her mind and panic over whether she should really confess her feelings or question why does it seem like Clarke plays with them.

"I know you're overthinking. But I don't know what to say either," Clarke's voice is full of compassion when she speaks. She puts her hands in the pockets of her jacket and shrugs. "Well," she makes a pause. "Maybe there _is_ something that I want to tell you."

Lexa turns to look at Clarke with her curious eyes, hating how pretty she looks by the light of the sunset. "Tell me."  
  
Clarke looks at her and smirks. She takes a step towards Lexa and Lexa unconsciously takes a step back. Lexa swallows, she tries to read Clarke's eyes but they look so dark, so thirsty for something that she doesn't quite understand what it is.   
  
It's revenge.  
  
Clarke puts her hands on Lexa's shoulders and pushes her, making her fall to the lake with a ridiculous sound, followed by Clarke's chuckles that sound like pure joy.  
  
Lexa emerges from the water and takes the excess of it from her hair and eyes before shooting a deadly glance at very happy Clarke. "Is this a joke, Clarke? Did you seriously? Did you _actually_ do this?"  
  
"Now we're even, love."  
  
"Even from what? Jesus, Clarke!" Lexa angrily says as she swims her way to the rocks. "How big of a child are you? For _fuck's_ sake!"  
  
"You hid something from me, you broke a vow," Clarke explains and she decides to help Lexa to get back on the land since Lexa's lips look kind of blue and she's shaking, probably because the water is too cold. "You deserved it, come on."   
  
Lexa reaches her hand to Clarke, her face showing nothing but pain and regret. But when Clarke holds Lexa's hand, she regrets it at the same time. Pouty blue lips turn to evil grin and in seconds Clarke's on the water too. Clarke tries to hold an angry gaze at Lexa, but they both end up laughing at the situation and at themselves.  
  
They both recognize that it is a blessing that they chose to live a life of sin, and still be able to have light-hearted and silly moments with each other like this.  
  
But the giggles slowly fade away and they face silence again. The louder silence they had ever shared together. Clarke doesn't look away from Lexa's stare this time. She looks deep in Lexa's eyes as if she could see her soul. Words might fail, but Lexa gets taken over by a rush of heat that starts in her chest and she breaks the silence as she puts her hand on the back of Clarke's neck and sweetly presses their lips together. For a second, though, Clarke doesn't move and Lexa feels cold dread wash over her body until Clarke finally kisses her back. 

It's nothing like the first kiss they had whilst drunk and in a dance club. Now, there's urgency and passion. And suddenly there's nothing around them or after them, there is no past or tomorrow, there's just them right now. Lexa gets lost in the feeling of Clarke's lips firmly parting her own shaking lips and she can't help but let out a soft moan of protest when Clarke pulls away.  
  
"I'm sorry," Clarke whispers. "I'm not- I don't..."  
  
Lexa tries to read Clarke's eyes and fails again. She slightly raises her head and takes a deep breath, trying her best to ignore her wounded pride and act like an actual adult. "Don't be. Come on, it's getting dark and cold. We need to go."  
  
After what looked like the longest ride, they finally get to their last stop of the day. Lexa wakes up Clarke, who was soundly sleeping on the seat, and they get a room with two single beds. But they both sleep in the same bed again.

\---

  
Clarke wakes up and Lexa it's not in her arms.

Lexa's actually nowhere to be found around the room. Clarke knows it is silly but she can't help to think that something happened. Lexa would never wake up before Clarke and she would never leave the room without before waking her up.

Oh, no.  
  
She grabs her own pistol on top of the nightstand almost in an automatic way and steps out of the bed to walk towards the door. She hesitates for a while before opening the door to look for Lexa, not only because they're in hiding mode but also because she's wearing her silly light yellow pajamas and that's not intimidating at all. She decides to let it go and when she opens the door, she sees that the hall is empty. It actually seems like the whole floor is empty. However, she can hear Lexa's voice. She's talking with someone. Clarke walks on her tiptoe, pointing her pistol to her path, just in case, until she gets to the top of the stairs that go downstairs, also known as where a little coffee shop lives and a very cute attendant as well.  
  
Clarke holds her pistol tighter in her hands when the mumbling becomes audible words.  
  
_"Here's my number,"_ Clarke hears the woman giggling. _"If you happen to be around again, maybe we can hang out or something."_  
  
"Don't mind if I actually call you," Lexa says and Clarke clenches her jaw. _"You've been exceptionally helpful."_  
  
_"You're really welcome,"_ the woman makes a pause. _"_ _Like, really."_  
  
Clarke doesn't need to keep listening to Lexa flirting with whoever that woman is.  
  
She really doesn't. 

\---

"Oh, great," Lexa says as soon as she enters the room. Clarke is sitting on the bed holding a cigarette in her mouth while she's trying to light it with her blue lighter. She looks at Lexa and raises her brows when she sees Lexa has a grocery bag in hands and a cup of coffee for her. "I almost forgot your breakfast is this trash instead of real food."

Clarke makes a pause with her cigarette in her mouth before smiling. She takes the cigarette out of her mouth and raises it with the lighter as if she was surrendering herself. Lexa rolls her eyes and puts the bag on the bed and waits for Clarke to put aside her stuff, only then hands Clarke her cup of coffee.

"Good morning too," Clarke says as she takes a sip of her coffee. It's black without sugar, just the way she likes it.

She watches as Lexa sits on the bed next to her and empties the grocery bag on the mattress. There are at least six kinds of different snacks in different flavors. Clarke can't believe it. Their money is strictly organized for survival and gas for the next few days and Lexa's buying stuff to impress a woman. "Are you serious?"

Lexa notices she's talking about the purchase. "Oh, I just sweet-talked the sales girl. I didn't pay for anything."

"You're so skilled with it, aren't you?" Clarke says. "Playing sweet."  
  
Lexa looks confused at her, but her phone vibrates in her pocket before she could say anything.  
  
Apparently, Raven has a sense of timing out of this world.  
  
**[8 am] R:**  
**Mount Weather Motel**  
  
**[8 am] R:**  
**Don't trust the attendant**

"Who is it?" Clarke frowns and Lexa hands her the cellphone without saying a word.  
  
Clarke looks up, she takes a deep breath before reaching for a bullet on her backpack on the nightstand and her pistol.  
  
"What are you doing, Clarke?" Lexa follows Clarke with her eyes as she walks to the door, but she stops a few steps away from the door to look at Lexa.   
  
"You heard Raven, _don't trust the attendant_ ," Clarke says. She takes the bullet and puts it in the pistol. "Don't mind if I don't."


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you out of your mind, Clarke?"

Lexa hurries to hold Clarke's arm before she steps outside the room holding a loaded pistol and wearing that deadly look that she wears too well.  
  
Clarke doesn't even try to react. She just lets herself be violently pulled inside the bedroom again. She watches as Lexa close the door again and lean against it as if she was putting herself in the way so that Clarke won't act stupid and kill someone as loudly as she seemed to be thinking of doing. But Clarke was willing to act recklessly. Usually she is the one who controls Lexa's impulsiveness, but this time, she wanted to make some mess. It's not the first time that Lexa kisses her and in the morning after she's already chasing someone else. 

It's not the first time Clarke feels this replaceable and it's just annoying. She just needed to find a way to deal with these stupid emotions.

"What now? Did you get attached already?" Clarke raises her eyebrows. "You know we're going to kill your sweetheart sooner or later, I'm just speeding up the process."

"Stop this," Lexa frowns. "We're in the middle of fucking nowhere and yet we're being tracked and you can't just shoot people when there are innocent witnesses downstairs." Lexa shakes her head in disapproval. "You're _way_ smarter than this."

Clarke breathes out, sounding as annoyed as she actually is.  
  
"You're suggesting I can't do my job."  
  
"No, you're great. I'm suggesting you're acting like a fucking _dumb fuck_ right now," Lexa says matter-of-factly, but something in the way she says it makes both of them want to chuckle.  
  
Except, they're too stubborn to admit it.   
  
"So you're suggesting I'm a dumb fuck," Clarke nods, still holding back her smile. "I see," she says and then looks at the pistol in her to avoid looking at Lexa, who's obviously smiling big.   
  
Yes, Clarke really was acting stupid, there's no way in the world that acting by irrational impulses would work out. Clarke understands it and deeply regrets to be in this position.  
  
"Not only now, but you did put metal in a microwave once," Lexa says and Clarke rolls her eyes at the remembering. Lexa will never let her forget this day. "But I still- you're still cute, though."  
  
Clarke looks at her and bites her bottom lip. She knows what Lexa was going to say.  
  
"Oh, well, thanks," Clarke says in a cocky way. "I love you too."

They lock eyes for a moment. 

It is here. 

The perfect opportunity to clarify the whole situation that has been happening for way too long.  
  
"I'm sorry, Clarke," Lexa says after a moment. She hesitates, searching for all the courage she has inside her heart, but eventually she steps towards Clarke. "I don't think I've been completely honest with you as I vowed to be," she makes a pause. "I haven't been completely honest with you about my feelings. "  
  
Clarke takes a deep breath and nods once in silence.  
  
"I know," Clarke says, feeling her heart skip a beat, but trying her best to sound normal. "I always knew."  
  
Lexa looks surprised at her for a second, but honestly, it's almost impossible that she didn't have noticed it before. It's not like Lexa didn't kiss her twice already. "Do you?" She still asks innocently.  
  
"Yes," Clarke says and looks at her pistol in her hand again to avoid keep looking at Lexa's big and beautiful eyes. "I'm aware of your feelings because I can see through you, Lexa," she says, looking at her again. "I know you so well it always made me mad that you didn't for a second think I would feel the same way too."  
  
Lexa opens her mouth to say something, her eyes looking scared and big, but Clarke interrupts her.  
  
"I know, it _is_ complicated, but, fuck! All you ever did was screw other girls to test me, luckily I'm strong enough to not get into any games," she says. "I'm aware that we're also a team, more than anything, and I didn't want to let anything or anyone threatens that, even if it was you."  
  
Lexa feels her chest is about to burst with whatever she's feeling right now. So Clarke always knew it and felt the same way too, but is she really blaming her for the whole thing? Why didn't she make any moves then?

No fucking way it's her fault. Lack of communication comes from both ways.

"I can't read your fucking mind, Clarke," Lexa harshly says. She was once in Clarke's way to keep her from going out, but now she really wishes she wasn't there. Clarke seems to be slowly walking towards her, making her stuck between her and the door and it comes to a point where Lexa is leaning her back against the door again and Clarke's only a few inches away from her, staring her like if she was her prey.

"But since you know me so well," Lexa says, whispering close to Clarke's mouth and forgetting she was about to fight Clarke because the present moment feels too good to be interrupted by any past actions. "Why don't you tell me what I want right now?"  
  
Clarke looks at Lexa's lips before looking at her defiant eyes again.  
  
"Tell me what I want, Clarke."  
  
They hear someone knocking on the door.  
  
_"Lexa?"_ , the voice of the attendant echoes from behind the wooden door. _"Lexa, are you there?"_  
  
Clarke holds the pistol tighter in her hand, but Lexa immediately takes it from her and lifts her head towards a bag of clothes on top of a chair across the room. 

Clarke knows what it means. 

As the attendant keeps knocking on the door, Clarke walks to the bag to search for a leather belt. She holds it in both her hands and strongly pulls it to verify its strength. It looks fine. She looks at Lexa, who has a little smile on her lips before she turns to point the pistol at the door.  
  
"Come in, babe!"   
  
\---  
  
"Do the ladies need some help?"   
  
Clarke and Lexa turn at the same time to find a cute old man wearing suspenders and smiling at them behind them as they try to put a bag inside the car trunk.

A bag containing a dead body. 

Lexa gently smiles and Clarke does the same.   
  
"That's sweet of you, thank you," Lexa says. "But I can handle it. This one likes to read too much," Lexa points to Clarke, who nods in agreement with a silly smile. "It happens that books are not that light, after all. But there it goes," Lexa manages to close the car truck.   
  
"This one is too stubborn to accept help, I'm sorry," Clarke whispers to the old man, who laughs with her.  
  
"Oh, young love," he shakes his head, turning slowly to get back to his car in the parking lot. Lexa and Clarke look at each other and shyly smile. "Have a nice trip, ladies!"  
  
They sure will.


	6. Chapter 6

It's almost over.  
  
They are very close to where they're supposed to meet Bellamy now, probably four or five hours away. However, they can't show up to meet Aden and Abby with a dead body in their car. Lexa found the perfect river so they could get rid of the body. They attached her to heavy stones with rope and sunk her to the depths of the river.  
  
They both stand on the river's edge for a moment. No sign of regret or commotion in Lexa's eyes until she looks to her side to find that Clarke is actually frowning to the body's wallet in her hands.

Clarke says she collects the wallets and belongings of their victims to set it on fire later to get rid of any possible criminal evidence, but she does it mostly to get to know the person better. She likes to know their names and think about their lives. Lexa always thought it is endearing of her, one of the many reasons she's in love with her soul.  
  
"What is it?" Lexa asks with a care that doesn't seem to be coming from someone who committed cold murder hours ago.   
  
Clarke sighs. She picks something up from the wallet and holds it between her thumb and her index finger to show it to Lexa.  
  
"It's an engagement ring," Clarke says after a couple of seconds. "She's leaving someone behind."  
  
"They all leave, Clarke," Lexa says before Clarke keeps suggesting she's sorry. She waits until Clarke looks up to meet her eyes so she could keep saying her words. "You know that, just like us, they all have a commitment to a life of taking risks. And it includes hurting the people we love."  
  
Clarke nods in silence before looking at the ring between her fingers again. She gives a small smile, seeming to be having fun with the thoughts in her head.  
  
"What is it?" Lexa frowns in curiosity.  
  
Clarke looks at Lexa and shakes her head as in a way of trying to get rid of whatever she was thinking about. She puts the ring inside the wallet and hides it in the inner pocket of her blue jacket.  
  
"Nothing", she says. "It's funny I thought you two were going to fuck or something."  
  
Lexa's smile is big. Not only because of what she just had heard but because Clarke is blushing a little bit and it is pathetically adorable that she's checking her inner pocket again to actually hide her face.  
  
Lexa can't believe she never noticed before how jealous Clarke is. She's an amazing actress but Lexa should have guessed.  
  
"Well," Lexa says. "I guess I can say now I enjoy it when you act like a jealous dick too."

Clarke laughs, making it clear she remembers and knows where that came from.   
  
But she doesn't say anything, she just nods and turns to walk towards the dirty and muddy path that will lead them to their car a few yards away. She takes a couple of steps and turns again to look at Lexa, who's still standing there and not following her yet for some reason.  
  
"Are you coming or not?" Clarke asks and then reaches her hand to Lexa so she can hold it.  
  
Lexa holds Clarke's hand and gives a small smile. She wonders how stupid it is to feel this much affection for a simple gesture such as holding hands while walking.

Probably a lot.

  
\---

The feeling of coming home spreads across Lexa's chest, even if that's not exactly what's happening. They're meeting Bellamy, they're meeting their families, they're making plans to end with Alie's life and getting back being Becca's fortunate employees, just like they used to be. Clarke, however, keeps frowning to the window and biting her thumbnail, ignoring all the songs that Lexa puts on the radio that were meant to please her.

"Lexa," Clarke finally says. Lexa lowers the volume of the radio to listen to her. "What you said to me earlier, about being compromised with a life of risking our loved ones."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't you think it's time to maybe settle down?"

Lexa takes a deep breath. She knew Clarke was bothered with something, but she didn't expect it to be about abandoning the career they have been building together. "Clarke, our families are safe."

"For now," Clarke continues. "But after Alie, there will be Becca. And then, there will be others. I'm not saying I regret anything, but that engagement ring thing got me somewhat thinking."  
  
Lexa frowns. She looks at Clarke to try to read her face, and there it is. The face that Clarke makes when she has a plan in her head and not even the devil is capable of making her change her mind.   
  
"I don't want to lose my mom or you to lose Aden. I don't want to lose our friends," Clarke continues. "I, hm- I don't want to lose you, Lexa. Never."  
  
Lexa's attention are not on the road ahead anymore. She holds the steering wheel with a hand and with the other she holds Clarke's hand. "Listen," she says, alternating looks between Clarke and the road. "We're not losing them and we're not losing each other," she says and Clarke lowers her head, biting her bottom lip and accepting that Lexa is about to successfully decline her sudden desire of not being a criminal duo anymore.   
  
Except, she isn't.  
  
"We can take a break if that's what you want to."

Clarke looks surprised. She knows that Lexa loves what she does for a living more than anything.  
  
Maybe that's really not her top priority anymore after all.

\---

_Finally._

"It's here," Lexa says to herself since Clarke's sleeping on the passager's seat. "Clarke," Lexa puts her hand on the other girl's knee. "Clarke?"

Clarke doesn't move.

For a while, Lexa thinks about going inside the house and informing Bellamy, her brother, and Abby that they arrived and letting Clarke sleep in the car in the meanwhile. Honestly, she looked so tired and worried and she's sleeping so soundly now that it would be a crime if she wakes her up. But also, she knows that if Clarke happens to wake up and not see Lexa around she's going to be scared and then angry that Lexa left her alone.  
  
"Please, babe," she insists. "We need to meet Bellamy."

 _"The_ Alexandria Woods calling me a babe," Clarke says with a sleepy voice, her eyes still closed. "Who would've known."  
  
Lexa thinks it's good that she has her eyes closed because she's blushing so strongly right now it's beyond ridiculous.  
  
"Come on, please," she pleads, ignoring Clake's smirk and the flirtatious vibe. "They must be waiting for us."  
  
They get out of the car and pick up their bags to enter the house. Without really thinking, Clarke looks for Lexa's hand to hold and they walk a little path to a single wooden house in the back of a small corn plantation.  
  
The house is really creepier than their last apartment. The wood on the structure is rotten and there are tons of garbage on the outside. Clarke flinches at the scene, she knows her mother must be wishing her death for sending her to this place. Lexa, however, feels happy because she knows that Aden must be having way too many fun hunting animals with Bellamy since there is a scent of death coming from the container next to the house.  
  
"Ugh," Clarke lets go of Lexa's hand to make a disgusted face. "Did you fart again?"  
  
Lexa simply looks at Clarke, her face devoided of any expression.  
  
"You did!" Clarke exclaims, knowing that if she keeps insisting on this act Lexa will crack and smile.   
  
Also very aware that she's a 23-year-old making fart related jokes. But it isn't healthy for Lexa to keep a serious face all the time, she's too young for it.  
  
Lexa takes a deep breath. "You're a such a kid sometimes, you know that?" 

"Ugh, for fuck's sake," Clarke flinches again. The closer they get to the front door, the worst the scent. "What have you been eating, Lex?"

"Not you."

Lexa looks serious at Clarke again, but this time, she can't help it. The smile on her face is bright and pretty and Clarke slowly nods with a smirk on her lips, trying her best to not smile as big as Lexa. The blond narrows her blue eyes.  
  
"You _wish_ , Alexandria."  
  
Lexa really likes it when Clarke calls her like that. But she contains herself and leans to press her lips against Clarke's cheek. For a moment it seems like everything is about to be fine, but they hear a strange noise coming from inside the house. They look at each other and it doesn't seem like a big of a deal, but they hear the noise again.  
  
A noise of someone in pain.  
  
Lexa lets all her bags fall on the floor as she reaches for her two pistols perfectly set on the belt of her jeans on her back. She gives a look at Clarke for her to stay, but Clarke doesn't obey. She follows Lexa as she runs to the front door and opens it with a kick. 

Clarke lets her bag fall from her hands to cover her mouth.  
  
Maybe heaven will have to wait a little longer.


	7. Chapter 7

If there wasn't a dead body in front of them already, there is going to one be now.

"The _fuck_ , Bellamy?"  
  
Lexa storms into the house and Clarke hides her face between her hands. She knows this is about to become a nightmare.  
  
Lexa quickly puts her pistols in her belt and pushes Bellamy away from Aden. The boy has his arm dripping blood and Bellamy is holding a handmade tattoo gun. Lexa stares at both of them with furious eyes, until Bellamy gives a small smile full of guilt.  
  
"Not how I imagined our reencounter, but," he says, walking towards Lexa to get a hug, but Lexa rejects him. "Nice you're here, too."  
  
Bellamy can feel Lexa's eyes penetrating his soul with at least one hundred knives.  
  
"You're _tattooing_ my baby brother," she points to Aden without breaking eye contact with Bellamy, who still has a very uncomfortable expression in his face. "Explain."  
  
"Baby?" Aden gets up from the chair he was sitting. He pushes Lexa and she looks surprised at him. It's amazing how strong he has been becoming, Lexa had to struggle to keep standing on her feet. "Oh, I'm old enough. If I'm old enough to rot inside that boarding school then I'm old enough to get a tattoo," he says, almost as angry as Lexa. 

An extremely awkward silence fills the room.  
  
Lexa's jaw is unquiet as she tries to calm herself.

Bellamy looks at Clarke and asks for a little help with his eyes. Clarke honestly supports Bellamy and Aden in this situation, however, she knows she would be dead if she said it out loud. She ignores the drama in front of her and takes a look at her mother, who's comfortably reading a book under a blanket on the couch with her glasses on and a cup of something steamy in hands, and tries to give her a smile of some sort. The woman looks at Clarke for a second, takes a sip of her cup and then gets back reading.   
  
"Don't fight, kids," she simply says. 

"Great," Clarke says, accepting the truth that her mother really hates her at the moment. And she has every right to. "I'll just, -I need a cigarette," and she walks outside, making Bellamy sigh.

Lexa tries her best to keep her posture after hearing a hurtful truth. She did send Aden to a boarding school and they barely see each other, but only because she knows that he can take care of himself and that he would be safe.  
  
"You're young, so you don't understand it yet. And apparently Bellamy doesn't understand it either," she gives him a glare and he uncomfortably looks away. Lexa looks again at her little brother after a pause. "You need to put a lot of thinking into something you choose to tattoo on your body forever," she grabs his arm and cringes at the badly drawn skull on his skin. "This _thing_ is staying with you forever, you understand that?"  
  
"Who are you to tell me this, honestly?" Aden pushes Lexa one more time, more lightly this time. "You were _fifteen_ and you already had all of those ridiculous tattoos on your arms and back," he shakes his head in disapproval. "You're trying to sound like Mom, but guess what, you have no morals for this."

Aden walks towards outside, pushing Lexa with his shoulder on his way out.   
  
Lexa looks up to take a deep breath when she hears the door shutting strongly behind her. Aden is an amazing boy, he is so smart and usually so kind. She knows that he deserves better. And that's something she will never be able to provide him, no matter how hard she tries.  
  
Bellamy tries one more time to put his arms around Lexa, but she just raises her hand to stop him. She looks away, shaking her head in disapproval of her own acts and choices.  
  
"Sit here," Abby says from the couch, still reading her book. "Let me serve you a cup of tea."  
  
\---  
  
"Hey, Clarke," Aden approaches Clarke, who is leaning against the wall, and she immediately throws her cigarette on the floor and steps on it to pull it out. Aden rolls his eyes. "I've smoked before, you know."  
  
"So you're smoking, you're getting ugly tattoos. You're not that little boy anymore, are you?" Clarke raises an eyebrow and smirks at him, pulling him into a tight hug after that. "Ugh, and you're so fucking tall!"  
  
Aden gives a small smile as he hugs Clarke back. "That's what the teenage years do to us, apparently."  
  
They pull away from each other's arms and Clarke notices he seems upset. 

Of course, he is.  
  
"Don't be so harsh on her," Clarke says after a couple of seconds of silence. Aden breathes out and leans against the wall too, right next to Clarke, and looks at this feet. "Lexa tries and she loves you. She really does."  
  
"I know," he nods. "But I'm tired. It's not the first time this shit happens. Running a Travel & Tourism business shouldn't keep her too busy for her own brother, you know. I don't judge or anything, I know you both are very successful at it," he looks at Clarke and she nods once. "But it's weird. And what's up with this place? I mean, you both have the cash, you know, you could have sent us to another place to stay."  
  
"You know the story," Clarke sighs before putting on an act. "I'm sorry I put you all in this situation, but as long as Finn keeps being my ex-boyfriend he's going to threaten my security, and it includes you, your sister and my mother. You're all important to me and I wouldn't forgive myself if he hurt one of you. He is a sick man. We never know. Luckily we have Bellamy to help."  
  
Aden pays attention at every single word Clarke says and innocently nods.  
  
"Finn is a big competition in the business too, so he also has the cash and he could have tracked you guys. It's safer around here," Clarke continues. She looks around and sniffles, wrinkling her nose a little bit after that. "But next time we're sending you to a better smelling place, I promise."  
  
"It smells awful, I know," he says. "But we're saving the animals to make a rug for Abby."  
  
"A rug? Made of animal skin?" Clarke raises her brows. "How did she agree on that?"  
  
"She didn't," Aden says and Clarke smiles. She imagines how harsh she must have been on both of them for hunting cute animals, even if it's for their own survival. "It's just to piss her off."  
  
Clarke looks away for a moment and gives a laugh. She had missed this, being with her family and friends, and it's a blessing that they're going to do this more often. She looks at Aden again and it breaks her heart when it seems like he's still very upset. He only has Lexa and Clarke knows that Lexa fails quite badly sometimes.  
  
"But I think everything is going to be ok," Clarke hesitates for a while as if she was struggling to believe in her own words. "Lexa and I, we're getting a break from business, we're getting rid of Finn, and we can move to another city to begin again, all of us. What do you think?"  
  
Aden never seemed to hear something so soothing like that in a long time.  
  
"Are you real?"  
  
"I'm hella real," she smiles.   
  
His eyes couldn't shine more and Clarke couldn't feel any happier for this.  
  
She's home.  
  
\---  
  
"Are they asleep?" Clarke asks Bellamy as he approaches the fire she and Lexa had lit outside to keep warm in the night. Bellamy puts his hands in the pockets of his pants and shrugs his shoulders a little bit.   
  
"Yes," he says. Lexa and Clarke are sitting very close to each other and he stands there for a while before choosing Clarke's side to sit. "Both of them."  
  
"Good," Clarke says. She looks at Lexa, who's playing with a stick inside the fire like if she was too bored to pay attention to the two people next to her. "We need to know the news, don't we?"  
  
Lexa simply looks up and it is so typical of her to act like a pissy little kid when she's been through a rough day that it makes Clarke rolls her eyes.  
  
"Good news is apparently everything is going fine," Bellamy says in a low voice. "For us. In other words, Becca is beating Alie's ass. Actually, Raven and our team are, Becca does nothing much other than being the boss."  
  
"So summing it up: no Alie, no enemy, no danger, right?" Clarke asks, interlacing her fingers together.   
  
"Right, but,-"   
  
"What about bad news?" Lexa asks and Bellamy sighs.  
  
"That's my point," he says. "I've lost track with Raven yesterday. She shut down all the communication and it's going to be this way until we need to make the next move: finding Alie, already devoided of all her employees and killing her. So we're stuck here for a while."  
  
Clarke and Lexa look at each other.  
  
"No, Raven sent us a message this morning, warning us about a spy," Lexa frowns to Bellamy.  
  
Bellamy looks at both Lexa and Clarke and frowns too. "No, she has no signal since yesterday."  
  
"Then who?-"  
  
Lexa doesn't even need to finish her question. Clarke buries her face in her hand to try to hide the fact she has shaking lips and teary eyes. Bellamy puts his hand on Clarke's back and tries to swallow the knot in this throat.  
  
"We better run."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (loupagneau.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

"Still, no signal. We're alone."  
  
Clarke and Lexa look at each after hearing the despairing bad news. Lexa looks away, she puts her hand on her forehead in exhaustion and Clarke looks at her with sympathy before looking at Bellamy again, who's still trying to do something with the piece of technology on his hands.  
  
When Bellamy looks at her and his eyes clearly show that he's waiting for her plan, Clarke sighs.  
  
"We can't run away," Clarke raise her eyebrows. "If Alie is playing with us then she knows where we are, or she's very close to knowing. She has everything planned and we were fucking _stupid_ to believe we were safe while running away from the city. Running away now, again, is something that she expects too. We need to stay."  
  
It all seems very reasonable and obvious to Clarke. The plan is simple. Staying, minding their own business until someone show up. She doesn't know how many of them could appear, but she strongly believes that the three of them are enough to get through whatever the situation they might get into.  
  
Lexa and Bellamy give a look at Clarke, making her roll her eyes. She repeats, with her eyes widened. "Yes! We're staying."  
  
"To wait for death?" Lexa throws a stick towards the fire violently. She stands up, and for a moment it seems like she's about to storm, but she simply opens her arms. "Alie fucking _knew_ Raven shut down the communication, Clarke," she sadly laughs. "She sent us that message faking to be Raven because she knew she would put doubt in our heads later. She must have hacked calls, messages. She knows about Bellamy, she knew he was waiting for us, she knew that he knew Raven had no signal, she knew we would have this conversation. She knows about everything!"  
  
Clarke avoids looking at Lexa although she knows that the girl is looking straight down on her. And it breaks her heart a little bit. It won't ever matter what they have, their feelings for each other will aways be put aside because survival matters will always come first.  
  
It is silly but she wishes Lexa would be on her side, supporting her plan and telling her everything is going to be fine.  
  
"Yes, Clarke," Bellamy nods in agreement. He puts his hand on her knee as a way to try to get her attention, but she doesn't look at him either. "We need to change locations immediately."  
  
Clarke chuckles, almost in a desperate way. She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. "See? That's what she wants. Dispair. Predictable actions. If she wanted to find us, she would have done it already. She's playing with us like fucking rats until we lose our minds and end up doing something stupid. We need to stay," she repeats. She lights the cigarette on her mouth and takes the first drag before finally looking at Bellamy. "And wait for her to be as stupid as we are."  
  
By now, Lexa is a couple of steps away from the fire and from them. She looks away at the planting of corn with her arms crossed. It looks like she's taking her time to think about the situation or she's just annoyed that Clarke can't think straight before smoking, but she just doesn't want Bellamy to see that she's on the edge of crying.  
  
Bellamy gives Lexa a look before looking at Clarke again.  
  
"Raven could reestablish the communication anytime, you know," he says. "We have a chance."  
  
Clarke takes another drag of her cigarette. "How will we know it is really Raven?"  
  
Bellamy sighs.  
  
"Should we really fight Alie?" he asks, still afraid of the answer. "What if she doesn't give us the chance to fight, though? Bombs, or worse?"  
  
Clarke takes a look at Lexa to check on her. The girl is still standing there, saying nothing and facing away from them. Clarke thinks that it is extremely annoying that right now, at this moment, she is more worried about Lexa's well being other than the huge mess they're in. It bothers her when Lexa is suffering, it blocks all her feelings and it's like she just wanted to make her smile again, no matter what.  
  
It seems that Lexa can feel Clarke is looking at her. She quickly wipes a tear from her cheek and turns to face Clarke.  
  
Lexa nods once, like if she was approving Clarke's plan. Clarke gives her a weak smile before reaching her hand for Lexa to take it a couple of seconds later. Lexa sits beside her and Clarke snuggles her, putting her arm around her body and caressing her arm.   
  
Clarke sighs. She kisses Lexa's forehead when she rests her head on Clarke's shoulder and looks at Bellamy, who's watching the affection with a suspicious face.  
  
"She already won, Bell," Clarke says. "We can only hope for the best."  
  
\---  
  
Lexa thought she would be accomplished as fuck when she got to work with one of the most powerful women around. And she did it, and she felt it. It was like she would never need to conquer anything else in her life. Lexa never lived for anything other than her work. It might sound selfish, but that's how it was and that's exactly how she liked it.  
  
But now, she realizes that she used to find happiness in loneliness because actually she never really knew what love was. Sure, she had a family. She has a couple of friends. But she had never met someone she could really love. Someone to give her the damn butterflies and someone to die for without question.  
  
Lexa realizes too that she is one hundred percent sure that she would die for Clarke. She could suffer the most horrible pain if it meant keeping Clarke alive.  
  
That little fucker full of pranks and childish shit that also happens to be the most badass and amazing woman she had ever met.  
  
She can't even think of what to say to thank Clarke for giving her a chance to love like that. And to feel it being reciprocal.

"Hi," Clarke says as she carefully enters the bedroom. Lexa, who was laying on one of the single beds of the bedroom daydreaming and looking at the ceiling, lifts her head to look at the door. Clarke has a plate of something green in her hands and it makes Lexa smile immediately. It's smashed avocado, her favorite thing on Earth. Clarke smiles too, she tilts her head towards the other single bed across the old bedroom. "Where's Aden?"  
  
"Hunting with Bellamy," Lexa says. She sits on the bed to make a space to Clarke to sit too. "He said he wanted to cook us lunch or something."

Clarke nods, she sits on the edge of the bed and hands Lexa the plate of comfy food. "So you two talked."  
  
Lexa sighs before nodding. She takes the spoon inside the plate and happily eats a little bit of that heavenly fruit. "When I got here to sleep last night, I accidentally woke him up," she absent-mindedly says, eating another spoon of smashed avocado. "He said he knew I was upset. I lied, I won't tell him anything for now. But we ended up talking all night. It was... Good. Very good to talk to him."  
  
Clarke observes Lexa as she eats her food. She knows that the same amount of happiness in Lexa's voice about her talk with her brother also happens to be genuine sadness. She thinks about saying something to warn her about her attitudes towards Aden and how hurtful they actually are. She thinks about getting back to talk about what will they do next to keep everybody safe. She thinks about talking about how scared she is to lose her, but the whole scene before her is just too cute. Lexa eats like a child when she has avocados in hands. It's the only time she looks completely distracted and innocent.  
  
Clarke doesn't think straight, she simply leans to place a kiss on Lexa's cheek without saying a word.  
  
Although unexpected actions of affection have always been Clarke's style, Lexa looks at her with an eyebrow arched and gives a lopsided smile. "Alright, tell me. What do you want? I don't have any money here."

Clarke shakes her head and laughs. "I don't want any money."  
  
Lexa smiles, but when she realizes that Clarke's looking at her differently, her smile slowly fades away.   
  
Clarke's eyes get darker with desire and it takes only a second for Clarke to jump on her after Lexa puts the plate on the nightstand besides the bed, never breaking the intense eye contact.

Lexa doesn't know what to do for a moment. Clarke's on top of her, kissing her in a way that she never kissed before. It's violent, it's urgent. Lexa tries to keep up with Clarke's hunger, but it's way too rushed. She puts both her hands on Clarke's waist as a silly way to try to make her slow down and-  
  
Clarke stops kissing her.  
  
Lexa opens her eyes to find that Clarke's actually crying.  
  
 "Hey, hey," Lexa says, but Clarke doesn't respond. She presses her shaking lips against Lexa's for a couple of seconds more and Lexa can't help it. She can feel her eyes tearing up when Clarke pulls away. "Clarke?"  
  
Clarke silently rolls onto her side and presses herself against Lexa's body, and Lexa instinctively wraps her arms around her to pull her closer and more comfortably.  
  
"I don't want to lose you," Clarke finally says.  
  
"We won't lose each other," Lexa says. "I promise you."  
  
Clarke nods, wiping away Lexa's tear instead of her own. "I know but," she says with a breaking voice. "You know how hard it is for everything be ok this time."  
  
Lexa takes a deep breath. She kisses Clarke's forehead and pulls her even closer. "I know love," she says. "But we'll make it."  
  
Clarke doesn't say a word. She nestles herself in Lexa's arms and lets her heartbeat calm her down. Lexa plays with Clarke's hair, twining her long fingers in her perfect blonde curls. She rests her chin on top of Clarke's head.  
  
"We'll make it," she repeats. "We always do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you read it until here i salute you cause i honestly don't know what i'm doing anymore i'm so so sorry  
> (loupagneau.tumblr.com)


End file.
